Thursday, 24th October

Madurai:

I'm feeling a bit better now, I think. We enjoyed eating with our hands at lunch – after we'd finally got up that is (about 1 o'clock). We've had to adjust our room slightly to accommodate our mosquito nets. Luckily for C. I'd told him to get one – M.¹ had told him we wouldn't need them.

We had a prayer meeting today and had to walk to someone's house. There's a church team staying here, a group of girls who are here to teach/preach.²

We are staying with a pastor in the Madurai railway workers' colony at the Church Of The Divine Patience, which has services in English. He said that it is a small fellowship – only fifty-five families! Given the extended families over here I wouldn't have said that it was small, but there you go. The food is quite bizarre, but I'm getting used to it. The pastor's wife thinks that I've got a cold because the chilli makes my nose run.

The worship today really helped me and singing a few English songs was quite comforting. Maybe I can teach them some of the ones I brought with me. I tried playing the guitar today but it made me quite nostalgic so I put it away again. M. was wrong about the monsoon as well – we're still in it so everything is covered in mud. It hasn't rained in Madurai yet, but it certainly did in Madras!

I think the not-knowing is what got to me, like the failure I was feeling after university and USPG fuck-ups.³ I don't want to end up in a place with nothing to do or give. Bishop Pothi is hoping to hear about what we want to do and what our aims are! I've got absolutely no idea. I think working with children in the church is my best bet, nicking some of my mum's songs and perhaps writing some of my own. I'd quite like to do some kind of sport, too, if it's possible. C. wants to teach classes but I shy away from that idea; I'm much better in a social situation.