Skip The Budgie

I think I'm quite a laid back person. What I write is a far cry from what I say. Not that I'm two-faced, just that when you are writing you can really lay out the fifty different thoughts your brain is having at the same time in a coherent way. Mr Prosser in Hitch Hikers guide has 40,000 angry horsemen shouting at him. I'm like that. While my brain is going, you fucking ignorant fucking twat how can you get up in the fucking morning and have the fucking balls to even look yourself in the fucking mirror and think you are an okay person, I say well... I'm not sure that's true - this is how I see it.

A few nights ago I had a lot of things to work out and while staying awake with all this yelling going on inside didn't help there was a Revelation. I wrote it down... to make sense of the madness. I talked it out, to ensure I wasn't going mad. That night, I dreamt for the entire night that we had this huge fight, and because it was a dream, I really shouted my arse off. She shouted too, but I won. Of course I did. It was my own little internal fight on Dagoba with the Dark Side and I kicked it out. In the morning, I was refreshed and have been / felt entirely different since. More in charge again. I don't have to have that fight in 'real' life, because I feel like I have. And I won. I wouldn't win in real life.

I have the Angry Horsemen at work as well, Most people around here don't really have the ability to keep them silent, and it gets them into a lot of trouble. Banned from offices, hit with baseball bats, shot with guns... Maybe I do think to much, and don't say enough, but really, I've noticed that most people are too enamoured with their own voices to really listen to anyone else. Not that I'm saying they should listen to me, but at least listen to each other.

She told me it was okay to be angry. It isn't. It really isn't worth it. I hate it when people complain for the sake of it, about things they have no control over. Do something about it, or shut the fuck up. And so on.

During the night, there was an earthquake in Peru.