The Christmas blackmail continues, apparently not having the decorations up means I'm deeply unhappy with myself and my life and will remain so forever. This from the extremely in your face Christian woman who, despite her best efforts, still takes the decorations down after 12 days because it's 'Bad Luck'. I'm happy all year, she says. So leave them up all year, I say. Ooh no you can't do that, she wails.
Later, I am miserable because I don't like mince pies. I am miserable because I don't like the obligatory work Christmas cards. Am I Scrooge? I like olde Christmas songs, Christmas carols and stuff, it's not THAT bad. My office is freezing, that's the Christmas spirit right there, under that pile of ice!
We have our office Christmas lunch, in a place called The Folly, which has the worst service, or possibly the most under-appreciated workforce ever. There is broken glass under the table, which we discover when we realise there is one missing. I have elected for steak rather than turkey, which turns out to be a mistake as 'turkey' means 'anything you fancy from the carvery' and 'steak' means 'steak En-croute' (a sort of pastry thing, overcooked and cold). Curse that small print! The vegetables arrive ten minutes after the 'steak', the potatoes are undercooked and we only have the presentation gravy to douse it in. Worst. Meal. Ever. The cheescake for pudding is awesome though. I have to wear a hat.
I hear that one of our lecturers once sent out 2 cards to everybody, one was a dark tunnel with a light at the end and the other one was all bright and cheerful. In her email, she said that those who received the dark cards were people she didn't like, people who had personality problems and that she hoped they would change their ways. Obviously those who got the happy cards were bright, cheerful people. I'm sure her message went down well and everyone who got a Tunnel card didn't go home miserable at all.
So I've been threatening to bring in Bootsy Collins' Christmas Album, Christmas is 4 Ever, since they were so upset with me playing The Blind Boys of Alabama last year. Apparently gospel/blues music is 'depressing' and 'weird'. I miss the chance to fill the office with Christmas Funk (that'll be the sprouts) since the CD player is safe at home where the box for the now missing Now That's How I Vomit Christmas CD is.
Finally, best Christmas card ever...
Dear All
I attach my electronic Christmas card in pdf format. Should you wish to have it on your mantlepiece simply print and fold in half each way.
Happy Christmas
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"The Folly, which has the worst service, or possibly the most under-appreciated workforce ever"
I think its the worst survice ever, having had a similar experince there a couple of years ago. At least they're consistant.
I just don't understand why they were so grumpy and rude, but there you go. perhaps it's that the food is pretty bad and they want to make you feel like you can't complain!
And all the cutlery was dirty.
Oops, looks like I can't spell service.