Whilst wandering aimlessly around the faculty - well stocking up on stationary mainly - I get a whiff of the past. You know how sometimes a smell can throw you back and suddenly you're there, a little child with no responsibilities and life is all just play and sweets. This memory is of me riding my bike down to the village from my house near Boot in Eskdale, Cumbria to buy my weekly Twix and Beano.
So I'm transfixed in the corridor, with a fistful of timetables, watching this little blonde boy whistle his way (I used to whistle a lot) round the little country lanes on his chopper-bike, smelling the rich country smells and I can almost (but not quite) see the entire journey in my head.
When I get to the shop, I find that the price of the Beano has gone up and I can't afford to get the comic AND a Twix! What a dilemma for a ten year-old! Comic or sweets? Chocolate or funnies? Of course I do what every little boy would have done. I put the Twix in my pocket and buy the Beano.
I don't get away with it though. I am nearly out of the door when he calls me back, maybe it's my sweaty palms, the bright red face, the shifty eyes? He grabs my arm and starts shouting. Of course I turn to the next line of defence. He is on the verge of calling my parents - my dad's the vicar - how will THAT look? But he takes pity on me and confiscates the Twix and sends me on my way.
This is the same man who a few years later, pays me £2 an hour to spend my Saturday morning cleaning the mud of the walking boots that he hires to tourists. He doesn't mention the incident, yet it is chiselled into my brain.
I have never told anybody of my Twix-stealing shame - now you know what sort of a petty criminal I really am!
But I never steal again. Well I say never, I mean I pocket a couple of tapes in Virgin, but the Fear eventually stops me doing even that. I'm just not the sort of guy who gets away with it. Whenever I got pressured into taking part in Dorm Raids, or anything naughty at school, I ALWAYS got caught.
It is probably at this moment that I learn that I cannot lie. If you ever suspect me of hiding something, just ask me and I'll tell you right out. Don't trust me with any big secrets that other people will ask me about because I will tell them! Life is so much easier when you are upfront and honest though. People just don't know how to deal with it.
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What was the smell that sent you back to those simpler times? Someone with a twix? Maybe the freshly pressed smell of a new Beano (/timetable)?
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Subject: What was the smell that sent
Haha...
Perhaps it was the smell of freshly cut grass wafting through the window, or the chill wind, or the promise of a Twix as I passed the shop (denied)?
And then just as you are at your happiest, whistling, Beano and Twix in hand, there is always a John Hinx waiting with his pocket full of stones.
*shudders*
Well there's always someone to point out the flaw in my little dreams! Gee thanks!
Next up: Who IS JH (see above), and what led him to throw sticks at my bike and his best friend to nearly die of drunken pneumonia - Divine Retribution, we loves ee!