Well it's official, the Worst Day Of My Life is nearly over. We did 'We Shall Go Out With Joy', which they sang beautifully and I went to C.'s classes with 8a and 9b. The 9th boys had a free period and wanted to combine classes with the girls but the girls didn't, so I talked to them while C. dealt with the boys. After about five minutes the girls were called out for 'throw-ball' (a crap game) trials. So I went and talked to them there. Then after lunch I went and saw them again and stayed until three!

I gave out my address and phone number 'n'all and have definitely got my favourites! There's this girl called Devi (means 'goddess' - she is) who wanted to touch my hair and told me never to cut it! She also told me my eyes are so nice - why are they like that? I'm in love with at least six of them. They said that even though they won't be in the choir next year, they'll teach all my songs to the new ones. Well, they'll try.

Our last choir practise was so depressing. Devi started crying about halfway through 'Father god' and the rest followed. We stopped for a bit and the atmosphere came to me as I realised that this was the last time I'll really sing with these angels. They've been so wonderful and beautiful these past few months and now it's time. They all told me to stop crying because it made them cry and I couldn't because they were all crying. You can't imagine the intensity of love and emotion that was in that room this afternoon. I've never felt anything like that before - they were all crying for me! Never in my life will I forget this day.

My weeping was made more painful because I was unable to hug everyone. No contact at all and how alone did I feel? I needed a hug and a shoulder, I cursed the customs here. If only C. had been there.¹

So after about half an hour of this people left in dribs and drabs - we'd all pulled together to sing 'We Shall Go Out With Joy' and after the second attempt managed it. I've never heard such a happy song sound so sad and empty. Miss Shanti was very quiet and our new 12th standard friend Muthukumar took me away from it all on his scooter. He taught me to ride it and it was just the thing to take my mind of the misery. We went to the reservoir and threw stones at the fish.

When we returned, C. had gone shopping with Vijilia so I had to wait.² Miss Shanti (the exquisite) came round and we went for a walk talking mournfully of this and that (the afternoon, and Juliet's wrath). She told me that I have very beautiful eyes and just as I was about to throw myself at her feet we had to run out of the way of a train (we were on the railway track), so the moment was lost. I would gladly marry Miss Shanti, but money and culture are problems!³ The girls at St. Andrews noticed us walking so I hope she doesn't get teased.

...

We went to Juliet's house tonight, mainly to sort out our differences. I told her why I was so hurt about her saying it was my fault the camera was stolen and at last she understood. It turns out it's the 'Indian Way' to point out where you went wrong. If you had been there to watch it, it wouldn't have gone. Thanks, but I think I know that.

So here's attempting to cheer up (very difficult) and I'm doing 'Mustafa'⁴ with 12th Standard at their leaving do tomorrow. I don't know how the choir will hold up at assembly tomorrow though...