Skip The Budgie

I've been a bit quiet over the last few days. On Monday I predicted a storm a-comin' and people reassured me hopefully that it would not. Things That We Have Argued About so far include: whether or not I locked her out of the office at an unspecified time on an unspecified day; whether or not we have had a 'conversation'; which one of us is or is not talking to the other; whether I changed the codes on the door on purpose; the 'box' incident again...

BOX INCIDENT. This is too silly really. There I was, happily doing my work when she came and asked for money from petty cash to buy a box. I knew what she meant. When she was here before, she had a little box with index cards that she filled with useful contact numbers. She took it with her when she left. Made quite a big deal out of how we were trying to steal all her contacts as I recall. So I asked one question: where is your other box? This became an argument about how I was supposed to hand over the money without questioning her / do what I'm told etc etc (last Wednesday btw). I had to walk away speak to the hand because it was a pathetic argument with no reason, she just wanted a fight.

I mention this because on Wednesday this week, she had a major blow-out. I told them it would happen, but they didn't listen. I was on the phone. In the kitchen. She came downstairs and started shouting at our Acting Boss. I heard my name, 'here we go' I thought, and hid for a bit. Stuff about all the above, interspersed with accusations of me ganging the whole team up against her, she won't have a 20 year old boy telling her what to do...

I went past them and outside. She followed me. Up in my face in the street. I know what you are doing, I've seen you do it before, you're a bitch, what is your problem? Did you say you are a Christian? Did you? I said nothing. Except that I had never said I was a Christian. I should have said yes, but I knew she had an answer for either response and this one would be easier to deal with. Yes I'm a Christian, and you know what we do to people possessed by the devil? Witches?.

I walked inside. She followed me, shouting. In a brief moment of assertiveness I told her I didn't want to talk to her like this, if she had a problem with me take it to the Big Boss. think I said something 'fuck you and grow up' as I fled back into the kitchen where I sat on a worktop and listened with my head on my knees.

I am obviously on drugs. I am rude to people when they come into the office. She is going to get a petition against me. I am rude to her and turn everyone against her. Everyone backs me up because I am the baby in the office. I don't understand her cultural diversity. I am so clever that she is the only one who can see how truly evil I really am. For about two hours. My nice colleague came in to see me and I fell to pieces on the floor.

SHE GOT SACKED!!!

Well not yet. It's a simple choice. Sack her, or lose the whole team. I am secretly hoping they won't sack her because I will not come back into work and they will fucking pay me for it too. Another colleague resigned after She slammed the door in her face. Assault, that is. I took on the Dragon a second time, and stand victorious over her bleeding corpse. The wounds are self inflicted. I fought with quietude and she failed. Again. I should feel good about this, but I don't. I don't understand how someone can hate me so much for no reason...