Skip The Budgie

OR, THE TRAGIC REALISATION THAT TRUTH IS NOT ALWAYS STRANGER THAN FICTION.

If only I were Batman,
Or Cyclops, Rogue or Storm,
My life would be exciting,
And far different from the norm,

If I were Captain Marvel,
Or maybe Spiderman,
I'd be feted and acclaimed by all
My rabid lust-crazed fans.

If I was superhuman,
Like Colossus or The Thing,
The world would be my oyster,
I'd be treated like a king.

So I hang around in power plants,
With dodgy nuclear shields,
And pray the radiation,
Will some superpowers yield.

My skin is somewhat scabrous,
And my hair is falling out,
My urine's turning black but I
Will not succumb to doubt.

As I lie here coughing weakly,
I attempt to sew a mask,
But my numb and shaking fingers,
Make it quite a tricky task.

It worked for Peter Parker,
And the Richards family,
It made the Hulk incredible -
Why won't it work for me?